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**Not a real stripper

First, I want to brag that I majored in English Lit & Math for my undergrad.

Lit because hi, writing! & Math because I come from a community of Jewish ex-Soviet immigrants who insisted

Behold! My attempt at understated self-flattery:

(They also insisted I become a doctor or a lawyer. At least I got the Math thing down).

I’ve lived in eight cities in my 20’s. I call this youthful wanderlust.
My grandma calls it a pin in my ass.

Most of that time, I’ve been bouncing between existential crises freelance writing projects.

Including, but not limited to:

on it.

...Unless? I mean I'm a team player...

  • Ghostwriting the traumatic memoir of a Navy officer from Texas who I’ve literally only spoken to over phone
    (him - *breaking down in tears about his abusive dad* | me - "hmm should I use 'sob' or 'weep'?") 

  • Writing product descriptions for some dude who may or may not have been a snake oil salesman
    (jury’s still out but he does sell "Ancient Alchemy" ointment for $359 so... oops?)

  • & Drafting email campaigns for a wedding photographer, then attending her actual wedding
    (that was fun! Hope you're well, Irina!)

Yeah, it’s been a weird story. You down to make it weirder?

crap, I really gotta update this thing


Whatsapp: +1 781 296 7630

Writing scripts, pitching activations, & getting weirdly familiar with the frozen fish market as a Copywriter @ Bray & Co.

Remote, Feb 2023 -- Present

Took breaks between tapas to write headlines about sex toys as a Copywriting Intern @ Officer & Gentlemen

Madrid, Spain, Apr 2023 -- June 2023

Had a mid-life crisis & fell in love with Scarlett Johannsson as a Copywriting Intern @ Wunderman Thompson

Tokyo, Japan, Jan 2023 -- Mar 2023

Realized that low-key everyone's just pretending to know what they're doing while Freelance Copywriting & Book Editing

Remote, Mid 2018 -- Still now-ish

Grew to despise the subway & did the whole startup thing on the Marketing Team @ Evercontact

New York, NY, 2017 -- 2019

Found the world's best falafel & developed interactive storytelling formats on the Content Dev Team @

Tel Aviv, Israel, 2016 -- 2017

Learned about insights and also that I don't know what an insight is at Miami Ad School Europe

Berlin, Germany, 2022 -- 2023.  

Top Dog Award, Q4 2022

This is a made-up award for grades that don't matter
BUT they gave it to me so sue me

Sold my soul for a fancy piece of paper that says "MSc in Marketing & Communication" @ Steinbeis University

Berlin, Germany, 2022 -- 2023

Discovered firsthand that Celsius & Fahrenheit meet at -40 degrees at McGill University

Montreal, Quebec, 2012 -- 2016

&& Here's a more-thorough but yikes-pretty-ugly resume that I'm hoping to overhaul with your help, thanks!

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